In life, we move through phases of feeling empty and feeling whole. ?Like the moon itself which waxes and wanes in its cycle, we wax and wane in our own perceived wholeness (and in our hormones).
Some days, we wake up feeling spectacular?glowing?radiant and alive.
Other days, we wake up wanting to fall back asleep and forget the ache in our chest that burns with longing.
This longing comes from deep inside every human being. ?It is the yearning to be more than we are; a longing to feel that we don?t have to live this life all alone; a yearning for union; a longing for love.
It looks and plays itself out differently for each person.? And yet.? Our yearning all comes from the same place.? We all long to experience the truth that the separation and isolation we experience day-to-day is an illusion.? We wish to be nurtured, supported, seen, and cherished.
You yearn for union. ?You yearn for love. ?And you deserve no less.
The path of loving is a delicate one.? When our yearning is fulfilled in the presence of another, we sometimes mistake this person as the sole source of the love we feel.? This becomes a trap, and our yearning for union then breeds isolation, as we become cut off from our own source of love.
In every relationship, be it with a partner, a teacher or friend, the other is simply an instrument, a mirror to the union within, with all.? What a miracle, that through loving a single person in a wholesome way, we can love the world. ??To love another person is to see the face of God,”?Victor Hugo wrote in Les Miserables.
It is not only natural, it is divine to yearn for a life partner, a companion, a lover, or a guru. ?It is perhaps the purest voice in you that seeks total union, total surrender, and total love with another.
Feel into your heart. ?Find that empty cavern that burns and aches for connection. ?That place in you that craves utter devotion–to worship and be worshipped. ?To share this life with another heart; to experience deep and passionate love.
When this deep yearning for love surfaces within us, it can feel like a nagging emptiness, like a hole in our hearts. We are prone to avoid it, to deny it, to turn from it, to feed it rationality or chocolate. We rush to fill it or regard it as a ?lower? voice within us, an obstacle to our strength and wholeness.
The holes in our heart are there so the light can come through.
To acknowledge a yearning that jeopardizes the fiercely aloof independence our culture breeds, is to admit that we are fragile.? It is to admit that we need each other, even if we are whole by ourselves.
Somehow, we’ve been taught that it’s not okay to feel vulnerable. ?That it’s not “spiritual” to desire something deeply, with every cell of your being; to feel yourself burnt alive with longing.
Your vulnerability is the doorway to love’s deepest presence. ?Your willingness to open your heart to the burning sensation of desire is your willingness to see the truth of your fragility and humanity.
Like the moon, we are never actually half or empty–we are always whole, though the truth of our wholeness may not always be visible to us, may only be a silhouette in the night sky of our hearts. ?Yet the waxing and waning of our wholeness and emptiness is merely the illusion of our limited perception.
Our practice begins here.? We learn to lean into our yearning as an invitation to live our lives with an open, vulnerable heart.
Let yourself live from this raw, tender state, touched deeply by this world and this life.
Not only is your desire innocent, it is holy. ?It is the very voice of the divine in you seeking to return to its source: total love.
Let your prayer for union pull you deeper into union.? Follow your cry for love home, and there you will find love:
?One night a man was crying Allah! Allah! His lips grew sweet with praising, until a cynic said, ?So!? I?ve heard you calling out, but have you ever gotten any response?? ? The man had no answer to that. He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep. ? He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls, in a thick, green foliage. ? ?Why did you stop praising?? ?Because I?ve never heard anything back.? ?This longing you express is the return message.? ? The grief you cry out from draws you toward union. ? Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup. ? Listen to the moan of a dog for its master. That whining is the connection. ? There are love dogs no one knows the names of. ? Give your life to be one of them.?? ? ? ? ? ~Rumi, ?Love Dogs?
Thank you for this during a waning period makes a lot of sense and nice to know we are not alone in experiencing this.
Dominique this is my second comment – the first one hasn’t done this article justice – since reading it and the accompanying rumi poem something has changed with the way i manage certain thoughts – thank you for progressing me further along the path. Certain thoughts and feelings were present and although i was managing them it wasn’t necessarily in the best way – this article has been totally inspirational – only now having had a few days to digest and process it – i realise how much it has touched me. Thank you x
I feel so honored, Charlotte, to have touched you. Rereading this article is medicine for me too now, feeling the ways that longing waxes and wanes, and breathing into it as a doorway to presence, to source…so grateful to share this longing and connection with you, to feel our hearts meet in the center of this longing. All my love to you, Dominique